a person who has no fun

An actual conversation I had today with my daughter.

The scene: My wife, kids, and myself sat outside on the lawn and had our lunch; a little picnic. Daughter number one even packed her lunchbox: a beat up blue metal number. She had some tuna salad, and also some Hot and Spicy Cheez-Its. (Cheese Nips by the way, are NO substitute). The conversation began as Daughter number 1 opened up the plastic bag containing the Cheez Its.

Wife: “Wow, I can smell those Spicy Cheez Its all the way over here.”

D1: “That’s not all the way.”

Wife: “What?”

D1: “That’s not all the way.”

Wife: Looks at me as I look at her. We laugh.

D1: Gets up walks three steps over to where wife sits and says, “See. Mommy’s right here.”

Me: “What she meant is that she could smell the Cheez Its from where she is.”

D1: “But that’s not all the way. All the way means far away.”

Me: “What all the way means, D1, is the total distance between the person who says it and you.”

D1: “No it doesn’t.”

Me: “Ugh. You should be a fundamentalist.”

D2 (joining the conversation): “What’s a fundamentalist?”

Me: “It’s a person for whom every word must mean one and only one thing and who believes their interpretation of reality is the only correct one.” I then started singing a song from Winnie the Pooh's Grand Adventure

If it says so
Then it is so
If it is so
Well so it is
A thought's not fit to think
'Til it's printed in ink
Then it says so
So it is

D1: “What’s a dementalist?”

Me: “Oh no.” I get up to leave.

D1: “What’s a dementalist?!”

Me: “A person who has no fun.”

Jannotti tag: what-ever

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