First helping: A guy walks out to his mailbox and stands there waiting for me (this is at about 2:45pm, the hottest part of the day and not a tree in sight). When I get to his box and hand him his mail, thinking that he's a bit impatient to get his 5 pieces of junk mail, he hands me a big bottle of Deer Park. It's so cold it makes my fingertips go numb.
"I kept it in the freezer until about an hour ago. Thought you might need it."
"You, sir, are the best!" I said.
"No. You da man!" he replied.
Second helping: A few houses later, a woman is waiting at her box. I hand her the mail and she hands me a Caffeiene Free Diet Coke. Okay, let's leave aside the fact that soda is the last thing you want to drink in this heat. It's the thought that counts.
"I saw you come up the other side of the street. It's just so hot out here! Have a good day."
I shouldn't have, but I did. It was cold, and even though I really don't like caffeiene free diet anything, I liked this. After finishing it, I drank about half of the ice cold water.
I suffered no ill effects from either the heat or the coke, but I did have to pee wicked bad when I got back to the post office.